Life is not easy, life is not clean and life is certainly a mystery. I will beat this. I HAVE to beat this.
Going forward I was not given too many options. The diagnosis of my 'condition' is pretty much worse case scenario already. I have seen first hand the effects of chemo and radiation and it is not fun at all. Given my situation however, there is no other choice. As I have said since the beginning, I do not have a death wish and if the doctor says I need to do something to survive, I will do it. I will begin a pretty intense therapy of chemo 7 days a week (Temodar) accompanied with radiation 5 days a week. This will truly be a test of wills and I know what I will be facing. It is not going to be fun and I am prepared -literally for the fight of my life.
I look back on the past 3 months and still do not fully comprehend everything that has happened. I am still recovering from a pretty invasive brain surgery procedure and on top of that I am now dealing with a diagnosis that could potentially end my life before 30. If this is not life being life, I do not know what is. Things I used to stress about seem so mundane now. I used to worry about things that this morning seem like the most pointless and undeserving subjects. It is strange how in life we always try our hardest to live, but never truly live. We get caught up in our careers and our relationships and end up wasting time on stuff that does not really matter. Life is not about the small things. Life is about how much you can help other people, life is about what differences you make in other peoples lives and how you positively affect those around you. Sitting on your couch watching paid programs is not what humans are meant to do. We need to get out and live a life worth living. Punching in and out of your 9-5 is not enough. Going through the motions is not enough. Taking life by the horns and doing something with the extremely small amount of time you are given on earth is what needs to be done. Don't wait until you are faced with your own mortality to decide to start living, don't allow yourself excuses to put things off. Live in the moment and help people. Help people and by helping others you will see you are truly helping yourself.
I can not express my gratitude for all of my friends, family and strangers who find my story inspiring. I did not chose this path for myself, but I will bear it as long as I can. I will stay strong and failure is not an option for me. I love you all and you guys make me what I am.
Thank you so much.
Here is a small clip of me getting my staples taken out. Probably one of the more painful things I have been through. =)
|Before and after surgery. The film on the right shows almost a complete resection of the tumor. A good start!|
|You and me both brother!|